i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
