so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she peed on how many people?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
