dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
