sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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