who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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