JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
