You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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