I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
