so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
