She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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