it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
