Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just invented taco cereal.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
