im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sext me about skeletons
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
