Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
