it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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