Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
