Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
