I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize