Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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