he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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