I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
