Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize
