Even the bartender felt bad for me
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
