I queefed so loud it echoed.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
