dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
