i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
