No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There's always time for handjobs
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
