You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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