i don't like sucking hair
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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