Apparently you make a good broom.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
