you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
