Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
