In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
