problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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