Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
There are leaves in my underwear?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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