she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
from now on my penis is your penis
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We need to rekindle our bromance
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
