Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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