I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
