Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
