Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
