Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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