I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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