Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize