it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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