flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize