in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
