Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
