you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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