You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
