I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
