You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
