Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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