suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
