You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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