God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
