Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
This baby is an asshole
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize