Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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