I need help removing her.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
