his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
