i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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