there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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